Tofu Shirataki Noodles Review!

As I promised I went out and found the Shirataki Noodles. I found them at my local grocery store (Market District) by the Tofu stuff....like the meats and whatnot. They are kept cold and in water. I couldn't wait to try them today, so I made lunch early for me and my son. I made him a plate too, because an almost 3 year old will tell the truth! Can you tell how happy I am to finally have some pasta in my life? HA!

I started by reading the bag, I noticed it said something about making sure you rinse the noodles very well before use to get the aroma of them off the noodles. I did the wrong thing by taking a big whiff of the noodles in their packaged water before I rinsed them. I am going to try to describe the smell as nicely as possible....hmmm....sour bootay! Yup, you read it right. My advice, DO NOT SMELL. Put them in the strainer and rinse in cold water...I rinsed for at least 5-10 minutes. I did not want to taste what I smelled. I have to admit, I was a bit nervous after I smelled them. I never thought that smell would go away...but it did. Believe me, it does!

Once I was done rinsing them I dried them off with a paper towel and then put them into a bowl. I remembered that tofu as no flavor at all...and I wanted to 100% make sure I didn't bite into a noodle and have that smell in there. (haha) I added a lot of garlic powder to them and italian seasoning. I figured that would give them a flavor of their own, just in case I got one without sauce...and just to make sure my lunch tasted yummy! If you look at the picture, you would never be able to tell that they are not regular noodles. I was scared they were going to be discolored or even clearish...but they aren't. The only thing I do not like is they only had one size at my store, which is speghetti, and like I mentioned before...I am not too keen on eating this shape at all. I did though!

Once I had all the seasoning on them, I added sauce to them and put them in the microwave for 2 minutes, but I ended up taking them out early. Everything does heat up very fast! I also added a lot of cheese. Hey, if I wasn't having carbs and everything else was pretty healthy, why not add some extra cheese right? HA. Okay, okay, I was really scared of what I was about to bite into! It seriously looked like a good ol'plate of speghetti though! If someone put it in front of me I would not know the difference...! Now onto the tasting....

Yes, that really is my first bite! What do I think about these noodles? SOOO WORTH GOING OUT AND FINDING! After the prepping, which really doesn't take long...you get your taste of pasta without the sugars, carbs, fat, or calories! What more could anyone ask for? Now for us Post Op's...I could not eat more then 2 bites. Remember, it is tofu and it does expand in your tummy. The last thing I want to do is suggest anything that might stretch your pouch, but for a taste of pasta...I would go out and find them. It is not something I would eat/make everyday...but when I am really craving that pasta, I will buy these again and use them. I can honestly say, since I found these...I will never eat a regular noodle again. Why eat a regular noodle when you can eat this and totally not feel guilty? I actually am pretty proud of myself that I found this.

NOW the real test began. I put a plate in front of my son. Oh yes, the little monster that only eats pizza and nuggets on most days. And his verdict is in.....dun dun dun.....

HE LOVES IT!  Sooo...if a almost 3 year old loves it...I know everyone else will to!

If you have any questions feel free to ask! :) 

No Carb Taco's...thanks to my hubby!

My husband came up with this idea, since I have been craving Mexican food...I had to share this simple idea with everyone that might be having a craving too!

Taco's are one of my weaknesses....so here is what my hubby did for me. He made the taco meat with the taco seasoning using very lean ground meat. The taco seasoning made the meat moist and sits well on the pouch that way. I used a little meat, but mixed it with more refried beans (more protein that way). I then added fat free cheese, salsa, and greek yogurt as sour cream. Now you are going to ask....what about a shell...us post op's can not have too many carbs?! WELL....LETTUCE!  It's a taco lettuce wrap! There is still crunch...but no carbs! I LOVE IT!

If you try this, let me know what you think! I promise, if you are a taco lover, you are going to love this!

My new favorite lunch

Since being post-op I have had this obsession with wanting to eat things that are crunchy. I think because the first month of being post-op I was on liquids and soft foods and couldn't really have anything with that crunch to them. I am a texture person. Sometimes I do not crave a flavor, I just crave crunching. Call me weird, but hey...I am the girl that was obsessed with the taste of wooden popsycle sticks when I was prego. (I'll leave that for another post)

Well, I have come up with a healthy way to satisfy that CRUNCH. I thought of carrots and all that stuff, but sometimes raw veggies sit weird, and w/out making a high protein dip for them...they really are not worth any space in my pouch right now. That is when I came up with....Cottage Cheese wrapped in lettuce. There is something about the freshness of the lettuce and the taste of cottage cheese that just goes soo good together. I can not explain it, but I love it. YUMMY! I just can't help but to love it. LOVE IT! hahaha.

Anyone else crave the crunch?

So freaking excited....PASTA!

Okay, Okay, I haven't had Pasta yet, but I am pretty darn excited on my new discovery. I have been craving Pasta since surgery....sad huh....but I am and always will be a food addict. Sometimes my cravings get so bad I just want to cheat, but I will not do that to myself. Especially right now where I have only lost a few lbs in a few weeks. I had to google tonight and try to come up with a pasta idea, or something close to it to satisfy my craving. I FOUND SOMETHING!

Tofo Shirataki Noodles!!! I plan on going out and looking for these tomorrow evening, that way I can try them ASAP and review them on here for everyone to know how they are. I would hate everyone going out and getting them and they are awful. Anyway, there is NO SUGAR, 3 CARBS, 20 CALORIES, NO FAT! The tufo ones take on the taste (supposedly) to anything you mix it with. Ohhh...pasta I need you! The other good thing, they come in different sizes. I can not eat anything that looks like a worm (especially because I have a feeling the consistency of these are going to be hard for me to get used to) sooo I am going to look for shapes...or at least linguine style noodles...those I can handle. I will let everyone know how these are and if they are worth running to your local Asian Market to pick them up! Or...if anyone has tried these...post and let me know how they are. No matter what, I will try them. I am willing to try just about anything right now that I can stick some sauce on with some fat free cheese. I think I will even make a meatball with them for an extra kick of protein...sounds like a plan to me!

I have a few food ideas that I have made up that I will post for everyone soon. I have a new favorite lunch/dinner. Actually 2, so I will post about those tomorrow.

Until then, I hope everyone has a wonderful and safe New Years. I hope the pounds fall off in eleven! :)

Not making my Christmas goal!

There is no way I am going to make my Christmas weight goal, and I am a little upset over it. I have been at a weight stall for about 2 weeks now...I've maybe lost one pound in that time period. Everyone says I will have stalls but I didn't think it would be that early out. I never told anyone my Christmas weight goal, and it was to be at 230. It looked like it might happen 2 weeks ago...then that is when I got into this stall. I am not doing anything different, eating the same and doing the same exercises. I have this fear that this is all the weight that is going to come off...like I did the surgery for nothing. I really hope that isn't the case. I mean, I only eat protein, 3 meals a day....little meals. I do not eat carbs or sugar...you would think that the weight would just be melting off right now. Well, I am at 244. Do not get me wrong, I am happy about it, that means I have lost 45lbs so far. 45 pounds in 7 weeks is AMAZING and I am grateful...I just want the weight loss to pick up again.

The best way I can describe it, like when you start losing weight so fast it is like a drug...you want more and more to come off so you will do anything to get it off...then when you stall...it gets depressing. I am used to eating, dieting, and exercising all my life and nothing come off....(reason I got the surgery).... then after the surgery nothing come off and you are trying so hard...it makes you worry. I wanted to maybe "cheat" during Christmas. Not really cheat, but try some not so good things just to see how they do. I told my husband I refuse to put anything in my mouth that is not healthy unless I can get 4lbs off by Christmas Eve. I do not think that is going to happen...but we will see.

C'mon Santa...bring me a lower number on the scale!

Egg Face...the best blog ever!

I am not one to post contests and such on my blog, but I have to start advertising for The World According to Eggface! This blog is the best blog for anyone that has had Gastric Bypass. Her food ideas are amazing and I have tried several of them. I swear, I go to her site at least once a day when I have time to write down more ideas for food. I would suggest anyone and everyone to check it out. The good thing is, her food is not just for the ones that had surgery, this food is soo good I promise the whole family will like it. My son LOVES her pancake recipes. Now if I 2 year old eats it, you know it is AWESOME!

On with it, she is having a contest that I really really want to win. HAHA. I am going to purchase this either way, because it is perfect if and when I go out to put lunch or dinner in when I am not going to be home. Even if you are a stay at home mom (like me) that is going to go shopping with the little ones or anywhere you know you might not be able to have a healthy food choice. Just bring your own and it will keep!

THE BENTO BOX!

How cool is this thing? I saw it on her BLOG the first time I was on it and it has been on my list to purchase for awhile....well after the holidays because right now it is all about my son. I would love to be able to get it as a Christmas Gift though ;) haha. :)

Everyone check out her blog...I promise you will love it...! Post and tell me and her how much you love it! Also...enter this contest....if I can't win I would love to see one of my readers win it! ENTER ENTER ENTER! :)

Puke, Poop, and Sleep!

Ya, I knew that title would get everyone's attention! HA! Let me start out by saying I will no longer call my pouch "pouch." His name is now "Ralph" because that is what he likes to make me do. I seriously have come good at it too. I don't even puke up puke, it is just food that I ate like 10 minutes before. No smell, just food. I know, that is gross...but that is what happens. I have no warning that I am full until it is too late. I get this hurt feeling in my chest and I just know when something isn't sitting right. Reasoning it might not sit right...too dry (that is a big one), too "sticky", or just too much in there. Let me tell you, when it hurts, it hurts. I hate that feeling. I will sit here on the couch and just pray it is going to go down. Sometimes I get lucky and can feel it going down. *Yes, I really can feel food leaving Ralph* It is soo odd. Oh ya, the noises it makes. It is soo loud sometimes digesting or whatever it is doing in there. My hubby heard it the other night...from across the room....and was like "what the hell was that." Pretty funny. I have no shame.

Along with having no shame, lets talk Poop. Yes, you read right. I went twelve days without pooping...last week when I finally went it was better then sex. LMAO. Seriously never felt that good to poop in my life. I started to get scared. The first couple weeks I used a laxative if I didn't go w/in a week. The last time I was like "I am going to get addicted to these." So I stopped and refused to use them...I was going to Poop on my own. T.W.E.L.V.E. days later I did. Now I am not having a problem. I guess since I am eating sooo less...I only poop once a week. Of course I am going to talk to my doctor about this in January...but I am doing good. I know I can take stuff to help me, but if I don't have to take anything, I won't. Going once a week is fine with me. I always hated pooping anyway.

Sleep! I hear everyone saying they have soo much energy when they are losing weight. Well, I am not one of them. I do not know if it is the lack of calories I am getting in...which I am sure has a lot to do with it....but I am tired. I can do one thing, like vacuum the living room and I am ready for a nap. I know that is bad, but I can't help it. I am trying so hard to get in my protein so I can take in some other stuff but like I said...nothing is staying down. I just want to curl up and sleep all the time. I try to do as much as I can during the day. I still have yet to get a treadmill, but as soon as we get income tax, that is what we are getting. I know that will help a lot, not only with my energy but losing weight. It is just impossible to go out and walk in Pittsburgh in the winter. The sidewalks are icy and I am not breaking a leg. And please do not tell me that is an excuse, but you try getting a toddler bundled up to go walk on an icy sidewalk during the day....then if there is snow on the ground all he wants to do is play in it. Ya right, I know that will lead to me not getting any walking done. Treadmill is needed....ASAP! :)

Well, as I sit here I just finished a piece of imitation crab meat (one of the only thing I am keeping down this week) and I feel it sitting in Ralph. Ralph better digest it because I am in no mood to see this food again. I have cleaned up toddler puke all week, the last thing I wanna do is hear myself puke.

One more thing...haven't lost any weight this week...I think a lot of it has to do with me taking care of Xavier and me not making sure I am getting the right protein in. Cleaning up puke from a child...especially puke on a carpet does not make one very motivated to eat. Me getting to my little tiny first goal before/on Christmas seems highly unlikely right now. We shall see!

Down 3 pants sizes....yes I am! :)

I was so excited when I went to Old Navy 2 nights ago. I knew that my jeans were getting big but I didn't realize how big they actually were. I went from a size 22 pants to a size 18! I was never so excited in my life. I just feel soo good about myself. It was like that little boost that I needed to see some progress. Once I saw it I felt like I really am doing something good for my life. I just feel wonderful. Of course I had to wear my new outfit on Saturday. I had a baby shower to go to, and after that my son had a birthday party at Chuckie Cheese. Well, from the updated pix you will see half the outfit, I had a cute vest to go over it. Anyway...here are the pictures. Too excited because I really see the difference starting to happen!

Progress Photos 1

I really do not want to post these because I see no change, and it looks to me like my second set of pictures make me look fatter than my first! Oh well, I am going to do it because this is my progress blog and I want everyone to see my progress and hopefully help some people out! Here it goes.

My photos go from left to right. The right was 5 days post op, the middle was 1 week 5 days post op, and the third was 3 weeks 3 days post op.

 

250 lbs...is that really you?!

I stepped on the scale last night....and I looked down and couldn't believe my eyes. It said 250lbs! Seriously?! I never thought I would ever see that number again. That means I am down 39 lbs! I just can't believe it. When I look in the mirror I am starting to see a change, a good change, and I love it. It makes me want to keep going. It is like I start getting tired and annoyed, and then the scale brings me right back to where I need to be mentally to really continue on this journey with the right attitude. I haven't went down a pants size yet, well things are lose so I am sure I did, but nothing that I have noticed yet. The legs on my pants are wider, so I know that the weight is coming off all over my body.

This past weekend I was having "pouch" trouble. Nothing would stay down and I thought it was the pouch but yesterday that all left and everything is back to normal. I honestly think I had a stomach bug. Actually I know that is what it had to be, because for it to clear up so fast, I know it was not my pouch. Thank goodness. I was really getting worried. I hate puking, but when I was pregnant with Xavier I had morning sickness for 18 weeks. LONG WEEKS! haha. Anyone, I got so used to puking it just doesn't even phase me. My husband hates it cause I puke loud (even though I think the loudness calmed down with the pouch) but he doesn't agree. I feel bad, but sometimes you just gotta do it. Don't let me scare anyone that hasn't had surgery....not everyone pukes. You will puke though if you eat too fast, too much, or just simply something too dry and it gets stuck. As soon as it comes up though you are fine. I am sure everyone will do it at least once and you will learn. Sometimes more than once, but hey...you live and learn. I look at it this way, never try something new when you are out...always try a new food at your house. Eat it very slow and little bites. You should know within a few bites how it is going to sit with your pouch. :)

I am to the point now I can really try anything I want. (that is healthy) I am just taking it slow. I still can not get in any shakes. I have tried them several different ways and I still want to vomit them back up after one sip. Soooo...I am only eating protein for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. SOO...that means I haven't really got to try anything new yet. I am going to keep trying the protein shakes though...different ones and hopefully I will find something. I keep thinking, if I can get a shake in for breakfast, the less protein I actually have to eat during the day and I can start some healthy carbs. Well, until I can get a shake in...I will be eating all my protein...and that is hard.

Okay...I am babbling. I will write more. My goal is to be 230 by Christmas...Let me see if I can do it! :)

Drink Drink Drink!

My surgeon was right...if you keep drinking your water, everything will fall into place. I have been keeping very hydrated...I just keep drinking water and I am feeling better and better. I found sugar free KoolAid. I LOVE IT. I really only like Cherry (unless its the blue raspberry lemon-aid) but the Cherry comes in Sugar Free, and you can not tell a difference. It is soo good...so I have been drinking that like there is no tomorrow. I also found that Raspberry Lemon-aid Crystal light agrees with me and tastes good. So, that is another option that I have now. Thank goodness.

I made an omelet this morning. I know that dairy isn't agreeing with me lately, but I really needed something that has a lot of protein. I am starting to think that it is just milk that isn't my friend. The omelet was good, I added green peppers, onion, and fat free cheese. I didn't eat a lot, I didn't want to over do it especially because of the whole dairy thing, but I did good. Maybe I can add that to my list of things for breakfast that is high in protein. I also added some salsa to it. My menu says to make the eggs (egg beaters is what i use) softer, well I can not eat scrambled eggs wet...it just grosses me out. So...I make sure I had something like Salsa to them...that way they are "wet" and help in my pouch.

For instance, I made baked chicken last night. It wasn't canned so I knew I had to do something different to it so it wasn't hard on my pouch. What I did was soaked it in gravy. Worked like a charm. I am going to do that with Thanksgiving turkey too!

Thanksgiving is coming up...I know this is going to be the real test. The good thing is I know what I can and can not have. I asked my mom to make me a little bit of her potato salad extra mushy for me. I told her I don't care what it looks like, just so it is easy for me to take a bite. Literally, I am only going to have a bite because I know that is not good for me. I will have turkey and gravy though. At my mother in laws later that day I am going to have the turkey and gravy, but nothing else bad for me....because she makes the best GREENS....so I will have some of those. At both places I do plan on having one bite of pumpkin pie. I know, I know, it really isn't good for me. I am not going to have the crust, just the inside (not that its any better) but I am not going to deprive myself because it is only going to make me want it more. Hey, I have been sooooo good and not cheated once since the operation...Thanksgiving is a day to do that right? One time a year...I think I can handle that! :)

30 Pounds...where did you go?

I am going according to my scale right now...which keeps going down, but again...a good scale is on my Christmas list to my parents (lol). As of yesterday my sale is down to....259! That means that I lost a total of 30 pounds in three weeks! Seriously am happy! I feel good, but I am still getting nauseous. Milk is totally my worst enemy. I can not get near it without getting the little bubbles in the back of my throat. It is just not good for me at all. Cheese is also starting to do it to me also...so I am staying away from all dairy, but that means I have to start eating more fish and other protein sources. This is harder then I thought it would be, but I know that it is going to be worth it in the end.

Just a little update!

Please do not say that again!

There is one thing that I have learned I NEVER want to hear someone say to me, because it honestly bothers me. If you have not had Gastric Bypass do not ever say "I know how you feel" to someone that is going through the first stages of it. Why? There is NO WAY you know how we feel. There is only one person in my life that has not had the surgery that is permitted to say that, that is my husband. Only because he is with me everyday and I talk to him the most, and I explain to him in great detail to how I am feeling and what I am going through.

Why am I posting this? Well, this morning I woke up and realized I was dehydrated. I knew I was because I didn't have to have a morning pee, and my mouth was totally dry. I was sick, it was bad. I told my hubby and my mom that I might have to go to the ER tonight to get some fluids, I felt that bad. Well, I got up and ended up drinking over 20 oz's (and Im still sipping) so much more then that now, but it picked me up and I am fine. I am pee'ing and everything. Well my dad called me, and of course I know he was worried. Well, he kept saying "you have to do this, you have to do that" and I was like "you do not know how I feel so you can not tell me what I HAVE to do, I know what I have to do, it is just the matter of doing it."
I wanted to be like "how do you know what i feel like, is your stomach 2 oz's?" I know he is only caring for me though, so i have to be nice. I am just putting a warning out there if anyone is reading this and their family member might be going through this. Just don't ever say that to them. Another thing, I know I did this to myself, it was an elective surgery, I did not HAVE to do this. If it sounds like I am complaining on my blog...well this is where I let things all out that I don't feel like talking to anyone else about. So ya'll are getting the good, bad, and ugly. There are some things (like this) that are just too petty for me to complain to my hubby about or anyone else...I would just rather write about them.

Other then that, I am doing good. I weighed in last night and I lost 4lbs this week...well 4lbs according to my Wii Fit, 8lbs according to my scale. I really don't have a reliable scale right now, so when I go to the store and see one of those you put a quarter in, I'll do that. I put a good scale on my Christmas List from my momma and dada! hahaha. Sooo...she told me I better not buy one from here til Christmas! HINT HINT! haha.


Write more soon!

Lactose Intolerant...sux.

Before the surgery I loved milk, yogurt, CHEESE. I was seriously the cheese freak, I loved it. The weird thing, after the surgery, it just does not agree with me. I have become lactose intolerant. I have read online that this is normal. This makes me sad. A tiny bit of cheese does not hurt me, but if I drink milk or anything like that, I get really nauseated...and the med "Zofran" is my friend. That makes me not sick anymore. I just hope it doesn't get worse to where I can't even have a little cheese....but we will see!

Today is weigh in day, I have decided since I have not bought a real nice scale yet I am going to use the Wii fit. I have to use it on a hard surface because if I do it on carpet I learned it tells me I am 40lbs lighter then I really am. I learned that last week, as soon as it told me my weight I was like "Whoa, that is wrong" but once I did it on a hard surface it told me an accurate weight. I will post how much I have lost once I get the time to get on. If I get it out while my little one is up he will want to play on it and the last thing I want to do all day is switch wii games. I am not that "hip" to the whole Wii and I am lucky if I know how to turn the darn thing on. LOL.

Alright...I'll be back later with a new weight. I can't wait to see how much I have dropped...if I dropped at all...because I still do not see a change.

2 weeks!

Well, I am 2 weeks out today! How exciting, I never thought I would really get to say that. I feel great, I am learning new things everyday! Lets see, I took new pictures at my moms this weekend but because of the stripped shirt I was wearing it made me look fatter then the first pix...so I refuse to post them. LOL. The next pictures I will post will be from Thanksgiving. I will take more pictures then. I don't think taking them week by week will show a lot of change, I would rather do it more spaced out. When I see them every week and I don't see that "change" it just makes me discouraged. Try taking pictures of yourself the way I stood and look at them...it really makes you realize what you really look like...and I do not like it, even though I am slowly changing.

I had my first bad experience at my moms this weekend. Saturday I took down Salmon I had made that way I had something good to eat for dinner. Well, I know I ate 2 too many bites, I knew I did because it was that good. Well, it HURT, it HURT like hell. It was not fun. Finally I got that feeling, and I want into the bathroom and puked. I didn't puke a lot because of course my pouch does not hold that much, I maybe puked up an ounce, if that. It made me feel better right away and I was okay. When I got home I still didn't feel right, so it took me until around Sunday mid-morning to feel back to 100%. I learned, and I will not ever push myself again.

Sunday I made an awesome healthy little dinner, and it was soo good. I took a picture for everyone to see the size of a portion that I eat. It is baked chicken chopped up little, with fat free cheese (just a little for taste), a little salsa, and a dab of plain Greek Yogurt. I am finding that real Greek Yogurt is a but sour and to me taste like Sour Cream. So...I am using that more as a topper because it is so high in protein and much better then sour cream. (just a hint). The kind I buy is in the picture. 

Soo...onto my portion size. In the picture you will see what I had for dinner. I find that I can eat a little more when I have like soup or chilli, but when it is dense food...such as chicken or anything that I have to chew over and over again (around 30 times) I have to eat less of it. I take little bites, around the size of a pen cap. I know that might sound crazy, but believe me...you do not want to try bigger...you might just have the same experience I had Saturday night. As much as I stress do not do what I did...the simple fact is...you will do it, and you will do it once and that is it. You will get very confident in yourself and that is when it is going to happen. At least that is when it happened to me. It is okay, it is just a little puke...you will get over it and learn. I told my hubby "This is MY POUCH, I am living with 'her' for the rest of my life, so I have to get used to it...if I puke I puke...I will learn, it is not going to hurt me." He laughed at me but agrees. I mean seriously, this is a part of me now so I have to learn what I can and can't do. What someone else can't do, I might be able to...you just have to try.

I really lost weight!

I think I am more happy that I get to actually eat soft foods rather than losing 17 pounds. Yup, you read it right, 17 pounds in a little over a week! I feel very good about myself. She told me to only get on the scale once a week...ya right...but I am seriously going to try to stick to that. I haven't got on today and I do not plan on it, my plan is to get on next Thursday. I am trying not to even think about my weight. Seriously, it really isn't hard not to think about because I have so much going on during the day...especially remembering to take my vitamins and get everything in, with all that I don't think about much else. My goal everyday is to get in everything that I have to...!

I tried to eat scrambled eggs this morning. I had less then 2 oz's and my pouch was like "okay nikki that is enough." I am still feeling bad from those...I think I need to wait on the scrambled eggs, but maybe if I put a little salsa or something on them so they are not as dry. I don't know, I am going to have to start experimenting.

My son is in a crazy mood today, so I am going to make this one short. I just wanted to log how much weight I have lost!

I can't believe I am going to do this...

Okay, I have enough energy to do something, finally post pictures. This is me at a week out of surgery, they were taken this past Saturday. I can't believe I let myself get this big, but I did...but I will never be that big again. These are my motivation....along with the help of Gastric Bypass! : )

hopefully last day of liquids.

I hope that I am put of soft foods tomorrow...I have no energy, my son wants to go outside and play in the leaves, which makes me sad because I have no energy to take him outside and chase him...I just don't. It is not even an excuse because I want out of this house so bad but I am tired. Im tired of liquids, I want to just start eating healthy so I can start working out. In my opinion, it is impossible to work out when you are just taking in clears....because there are no calories getting in. I want to walk, I want to work out, I want to go outside, but I have NO energy. I am simply annoyed...very annoyed. I want to scream.

What do I feel like today? Simple answer.... Shit.

Liquids...go away please! :)

I wanted to update this blog everyday, but honestly...I have been either busy or just tired. I am 8 days out, and I feel back to normal (minus this cold that I have right now.) I do not have any pain where the surgery was, I can honestly say I feel like my normal self.

The hardest thing right now is the liquid diet. Honestly, you never ever feel hungry (at least I don't) so the liquid diet is easy, BUT I am so sick of everything that I can have. Imagine eating, well DRINKING, the same stuff for 9 days in a row...and tell me how annoying that would get...and remember not have any other options. Try to list on a piece of paper all your options that are clear and sugar free/fat free. There are not that many options. The one thing that I did do that is really helping is the chicken broth. I went out and bought all different flavors of soup (that would be considered clear) and I eat the "soup" part out of them. I do now know if that is on the okay list, but if I didn't do that I would go crazy, because I still can't even look at like chicken noodle broth anymore, I am that sick of it. The thought of sugar free jello even makes me shake because I am just that sick of it. Let me list what I have been drinking...

WATER
sugar free/decaf iced tea
tea
decaf coffee
skim milk (but it gives me the "bubbles")
sugar free hot chocolate w/skim milk (used to LOVE hot cocoa, but I am that sick of it)
sugar free popsycles
broth from "clear" soups

I pretty much think that is it. I still can not get my protein in, which is ticking me off but I go for my post-op appt this Thursday so I am going to talk to them then. I am hoping that they see how good I am doing and put me on stage 2, I do not see why they won't. We have to go grocery shopping tonight so I put all the things for my stage 2 diet that I would want. I just hope that Thursday I can start them. Again, let me stress, I am totally not hungry, it is just that I am sick of the same things, I want to be able to start tasting healthy and good food. This will also make me have energy since I am only getting about 300 cals a day, if that. SOOO...you can just imagine how I feel.

I promise to update more. :)

4 days out!

Well well well...I had surgery this past Monday and I have to admit I am doing pretty darn good! Today was the first full day I have been home, and I had to have my mother in law come and get Xavier. I woke up really nauseated this morning. It was bad, I felt awful...but other than that I am doing okay. I just keep sipping. I think I was so nauseated because even though I am sipping all the time it is the first day I haven't been hooked up and getting extra hydrated with the IV's. It is hard, but I am working with it. I am about to make myself some chicken broth for dinner. When Xavier got home from his grandma's tonight we shared some sugar free jello...so it wasn't too bad.

I thought it would be hard on the liquids, but it really has been okay because I do not feel hungry at all. Do not get me wrong, Andrew and is making dinner for him and Xavier right now and it does smell good...but I know that chicken broth is going to be much better! lol.

Sorry this isn't too much of an update, I am high on my liquid pain meds...but if you have any questions feel free to ask! I just hope tomorrow is better then today! :)

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow is my big day and I am kind of numb. I thought I would be excited but I am scared that I am making the wrong decision. This is not something that I can just go back on. I am not even nervous...I really have no feeling. Is this normal? I have that fear that I am not going to wake up and my son is only going to remember me for being selfish doing this elective surgery and not being able to be there for him. Are these normal feelings?

I am first tomorrow...in 8 hours I will be at the hospital. Xavier is spending the night across the street at my mother in laws that way we do not have to wake him up and take him over there in the morning since it is going to be so early when we leave. I don't want to have to say good bye to him tonight.I know I am going to cry. He doesn't understand, but I feel like I am leaving him for selfish reasons, even thought I am really doing this surgery so I can keep up with him and be around a lot longer, rather then being obese and not being able to keep up.


Okay, well...wish me luck! I am going to take before pix tonight...I will post them once I get home either on Wednesday when I get home from the hospital or later this week once I get settled. Don't worry I will not leave anything out about how I am feeling and the surgery.

Well, once I get home I will be on the "losers bench"!!

The wait is over....

The wait is over....I am APPROVED!  I think this is one of the best days ever...besides marrying my husband and birthing my son! I can not believe I heard those words....APPROVED! I just am so excited...I'm smiling, crying, and I just don't know what to do with myself.

Okay, I have let my house go, it is soo messy because I was soo worried I was going to get denied I let my house go to crap...so I must clean!

yup...still waiting...

I just realized I had comments on some posts...I couldn't believe I actually had readers! Thank you all for your comments. I promise later on today I will post back to each and every one of you...right now I am watching loony tunes with the little one.

Just a quick update. I finally got the phone number to the pre-authorization department for Aetna. The girl that I was talking to was going to put me through to the nurse working on my file but of course it was lunch time and the nurse was not at her desk (at least that is what they told me). I am going to try back in a little while. I do not care if I bug them today, I really want to get some answers because they have had my file forever and I feel like everyone else gets their results in a few days with Aetna and here is me still waiting. If they need something or whatever I would like to know before Friday.

I just really want to know, I need to start this mental prep for the surgery. This is not a light surgery, they are going in and rearranging my organs, and taking away part of my stomach (well cutting it). I need to mentally be strong for this, if I go in feeling rushed I know I will not have a good experience. So I sit here and I wait. I just want to talk to someone to see if they are going to approve me. I just want to hear that one little word..."approved" then I can take a deep breath, get my house ready because I am going to be sore next week...if I get surgery. I just need to know.

Waiting makes me not want to do anything. My house is a nightmare but I just don't want to clean it...I just have the not wanting to do anything feeling. This waiting game is long enough, I feel like they are playing with my emotions, even though they probably have no idea what they are doing to me....not that they would care. I understand there are other people waiting for the same thing and the nurse is busy, but I don't care about other people right now, I am being selfish for once in my life and it actually sorta feels good. This is for ME and I am aloud to be selfish.

Okay, I think I am going to call back to see if I can get that nurse on the line. I will let everyone know if I hear something soon! :)

Wish me luck.

simply annoyed.

I know this may sound really bad, but I truly have no hope that I am going to get approved. I am still waiting, the first thing I did when I woke up this morning...called Aetna. Still in the "pending" status. I really don't know how much of this cruel and unusual punishment I can take. (lol) Okay, maybe this sounds like I am taking this too hard but seriously, this is all I can think of. A week from today I could be in surgery, and I can't even mentally prepare for it. I am the type of person that has to plan and prepare for things. When I go out to dinner I have to know a few days ahead of time so I can look at the menu and decide what I want. I have always been like this. Soo...if I am like that over a menu, think of how it is for me to decide of a life changing operation. Ya, that is how crazy I am. When something is out of my hands, like this insurance is, I just don't know what to do with myself. I just can't stand that there is no news...anything besides PENDING. I am so sick of PENDING. It seems like everyone that has been approved with Aetna was approved within a few days, that is why I am beginning to think I am going to be denied. There has to be something, some reason why this is taking so long. I just want to cry.

Aetna...please give me an answer soon!

It is Sunday Oct. 24th. My paperwork was submitted to Aetna for my Gastric Bypass Approval on Oct 15th, and I still have not heard an answer. I am so nervous. I really think that there is going to be a big fat denial call this week. I do not have any hopes anymore....I am just nervous. My stomach as hurt all weekend and I feel horrible. My head has hurt so bad...it is all stress. I do not know why insurance companies do this to people. My husband and I pay $400 a month out of pocket for insurance....yup....$400....and to be ignored like this for this long is crazy. I honestly thing that it should be only a 5 day turn around time at the most. Seriously, there is no way people need 15 days to look at something. You know when the insurance looks at the files they know if they are going to approve them or not. That is what makes me upset.

I had my pre-operation appointment on Friday. It was exciting because they went over everything for the day of surgery, all the information I was going to need for after surgery. The one lady asked me "this is supposed to be an exciting day for you and you do not look excited." I replied "I still haven't heard from insurance and I can not be excited until I hear the words approved." They all understood, it is just really nerve wracking. Knowing that I am this close to my big day and with one phone call this week it can all be taken away from me.

I don't understand why like 3 months into the 6 month process that more insurance companies want from you they can't give you a heads up if they are going to approve you. For someone to go through all this and not even know the outcome is just not right. I mean, I do understand why they have guidelines, but I think the guidelines are too open.

So far I meet all the requirements. I have a BMI of 40+ for the 2 years Aetna requires, I have severe sleep apnea, lower back pain, high blood pressure. I also did the 6 month supervised diet (although I gained/lost and stayed around the same weight from which I started...that worries me), I met with the nutritionist a lot and also passed the psych evaluation. So, I have done everything. I have had all my pre-op testing, all my blood work....everything. So...you would think I would be an easy "approved." I can't believe it is taking this long to hear something. I seriously am sick over this.

Okay, well I am going to go lay on the couch and hopefully fall asleep. My hubby is at his friends house playing video games, my son went to bed early...so all I want to do is fall asleep so hopefully I hear something in the morning when I call Aetna. PLEASE! I'll let everyone know.

Please keep everything crossed for me, because I really have bad vibes.

i will not call the insurance company....

.....I will not call the insurance company....hahaha. I had to blog to keep me from picking up the phone, or better yet logging into my health insurance account and using the online chat to see if there is any news on my approval. I can not take this wait, I always was one with no patience, but this is really driving me insane. I know everything was submitted correctly, I know all the requirements were met, and I know I have the sleep apnea...so I should be approved. I just don't have a good feeling about it, and there is no way I can rest until I know what is going on.

I really hope I know something by this weekend. Seriously, I need this weekend to chill out since next weekend is Halloween and the weekend before surgery...I need one weekend to chill out and rest. I also need this weekend to get all my school work caught up on so I have nothing to worry about when I am in the hospital. I just can't even concentrate on school this week because my mind is totally not there. My mind is wondering about what is going on at Aetna. Maybe I should call today, ugh, I am supposed to be talking myself out of calling, and here I am making reasons why I should call. Seriously! See how my mind works. I am sure ya'll are thinking and wondering how my husband puts up with me, I wonder the same thing! HA! He told me to wait and if I do not hear anything today to call tomorrow....but that is a whole 24 hours, can I really wait that long? Geeeze.


Okay I am going to go clean my living room...maybe while I am doing that someone will call me with some sorta news....yea....maybe that will happen!

wait....wait....wait....

I think I am officially going crazy during this waiting game! Anyone else feel this same way? I was officially submitted Friday, the 15th. I thought it was sooner, but they were missing a paper...but it is 100% submitted so I just wait. Seriously...I thought I wouldn't be like this, I thought I would just be able to put it out of my mind...but it is soo on my mind I didn't know if I even felt like blogging about it because I have thought about it so much I didn't feel like writing about it, if that makes any sense. Everyone keeps telling me "it will be okay" but seriously...no one knows for sure what the insurance is going to say, so I wish people would just let me vent and not say anything back. I just wish I had someone that would sit there, not saying anything and let me ramble on and on until I got a phone call with some sorta news. LOL.

I went to the weightloss seminar last night...not that I don't do things last minute! HA! I am happy that I went to it, I am happy that I have done my own research also on my own about the surgery. I think I am more prepared than I thought I would be for the surgery. I have learned so much, I have meals planned for when I can eat (depending what I can eat) and I have a exercise program made up in my mind that I am going to start doing everything/every other day! I feel good about this, but the waiting is killing me. I honestly think if I get denied I am going to be crushed.

At the seminar last night the doctor that was speaking was one of the doctors that is on the team of doctors with my surgeon, so I felt really good listening to everything that he had to say. He was honest about a lot of things, which scared me, but it is what needed to be said. There are risky things with every surgery, and this is a big surgery...not that all surgeries aren't. Well, he was talking about the insurance, and he was listing where insurance would approve and I do fall into the category for 40+ BMI, and on top of that I have sleep apnea and high blood pressure....soooo......they should approve me. That means nothing though because insurance companies can deny for any reason. That is what sux about the whole situation.

Sorry if all I keep talking about is if I am going to be approved or not, but seriously that is the only thing that has been going on. It is really all I can think about anymore. I couldn't even sleep last night and when I did fall asleep I woke up in the middle of the night and the first thought was about Aetna. oh goodness....this is going to be a long week or 2.

I have my preop appointment with Dr. Gagne Friday, so if I do not blog before that (of course I will blog if I hear anything) I will blog again on Friday.

Remember, if you have any questions or thoughts for me, feel free to email me at MartiniMama412@gmail.com

The waiting game

I feel bad, it has been almost a month since I last posted, and honestly I did not want to go that long without posting something...but life has been crazy. I don't feel like getting into the personal stuff, but if you read Martini Mama you will get caught up with that...I try to separate the 2 blogs that I write.

Let me start by saying, I had my last weigh in this past Monday...the 11th of October. So, that means that my letter and weight check has been faxed over to my surgeons office. I got a call yesterday that everything should be submitted to my insurance towards the end of the week. Now is the waiting game. Everything that I can do has been done, now it is up to Aetna to tell me if I can get surgery and they will cover it or not. I don't know how fair that is, my doctors only can do so much, they can recommend that I have this surgery, but insurance can still say no! Lovely. I guess it is just wait it out now.

I really am starting to get nervous. I don't think it would be normal to not feel nervous. I just want to know if it is a 100% go or not. lalalala....I just wait and see. I will post as SOON as I hear something.