Monday, August 23, 2010

Found an outlet

 I am still counting down til I get my date, but I honestly lost track of how many days and I won't let myself recount. I guess that is a good thing. I had such a good weekend. I was talking to a friend of the family that has had Gastric Bypass. She was so open about it to me because she knows that I am working on my 6 months. She told me I could call her whenever I wanted with any questions or just to vent. She said that she had someone like that while she had hers and it helped. She told me especially after the surgery, she said she will be there for me. It makes me feel so much better knowing that I have someone like this to talk to. I am the type of person that likes to talk about things, that is why I started the blog. I feel like I talk about things too much and my family gets sick of it. (When I say family...don't count my hubby...he never gets sick of it) anyway...I just feel good about having that person. She told me the 2-4 weeks that I am on liquids is the hardest and that all food just smells soo good. I think that is going to be my hardest part because I am a stay at home momma and I do have to be around and prepare food during the day. I am strong though, and I want this so bad, so I think I will do good...but I am not doubting that it is going to be hard.....very hard.

I am also driving myself crazy about the psych evaluation. I have anxiety and I am on meds for it. I do not see anyone, I am just on 100mg of Effexor a day. It is a stronger drug but it helps me so much. I do not know how to describe my anxiety. One of my best friends has the same kind of anxiety as I do...and actually is on the same dose of my meds and everything that I am. All I can describe it as is thoughts running through my head all the time I am trying to rest...and they would keep me up at night. I honestly think a lot of it has to do with me staying at home and I am not used to it...even though its been over 3 years now. I can't even describe or tell you the thoughts because they run so fast especially at night. I do not want my psych evaluation to be denied because of this. That is my fear. I do want to eventually get off my meds, I think the surgery will help a lot. I can't describe why, I just feel it will. Maybe it is just because I am being so positive lately. I feel soo good about myself, not physically but mentally. I feel that these 6 months have made me such a stronger person because I have took charge of my life. It feels damn good.

This Saturday night I go for my other sleep test. This is the one where they fit me with my mask and I get to sleep with it and all that fun stuff. At first I was embarrassed about having to wear it, but now I am excited about the whole thing...I can not wait to sleep in my house with the machine just to see how I feel the next morning. I bet I get the best nights sleep ever. I can just imagine what my toddler is going to say about it though. HAHAHA. This is going to be great.

I talked enough...but I still have so much to talk about. I am sure I will write more soon. Now time to clean the kitchen.


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