I had my 4th weigh in yesterday with my PCP. I was so excited to get weighed because I knew I had to of lost something...not only did I cut out soda completely (one month without it today...yippeee) I do not get out of breath going up the stairs in my house. Well I stepped on the scale and I am down 4lbs! I am thrilled. This diet that they have me on is actually doing something. I know it is not a lot, but it is something and that is all that I care about. I have my 5th weigh in on Sept 7th. Only 2 more to go and I can not wait. This 6 months has went by so fast I seriously can not believe in a few months I will be dropping this weight!
I found out that a gym opened up in my area that is only $10 a month. I am getting a tread mill in a few weeks, but I think I might want to start the gym too. I think if anything I will start the gym once I have my surgery, until then I will use the treadmill and see how much I can drop from that. I am so excited that I am going to get in shape. I have wanted to be "in shape" all my life and this year I am going to start that journey.
I still have my worries, what if I lose all this weight and I turn ugly. Seriously, that does happen, you have to admit...some people just do not look good "thin." I also am nervous about just everything. Seriously, I have wanted to be "thin" my whole life, I just could never get that way. I do not know how it is going to feel to shop in a regular store. OMG...I might be able to get in mediums one day. No more Lane Bryant! Its just all these thoughts running through my head. I do not know how it is just to be able to walk into a store and buy something without first having to see if they have a "plus size" section. I am going to be free. I am going to look good in a nice summer dress. I won't have to worry about being "the fat one" where ever I go. Believe me, as much confidence as it might seem that I have...I always am thinking "i am the fat one."