Wednesday, August 4, 2010

4th weigh in....check

I had my 4th weigh in yesterday with my PCP. I was so excited to get weighed because I knew I had to of lost something...not only did I cut out soda completely (one month without it today...yippeee) I do not get out of breath going up the stairs in my house. Well I stepped on the scale and I am down 4lbs! I am thrilled. This diet that they have me on is actually doing something. I know it is not a lot, but it is something and that is all that I care about. I have my 5th weigh in on Sept 7th. Only 2 more to go and I can not wait. This 6 months has went by so fast I seriously can not believe in a few months I will be dropping this weight!

I found out that a gym opened up in my area that is only $10 a month. I am getting a tread mill in a few weeks, but I think I might want to start the gym too. I think if anything I will start the gym once I have my surgery, until then I will use the treadmill and see how much I can drop from that. I am so excited that I am going to get in shape. I have wanted to be "in shape" all my life and this year I am going to start that journey.

I still have my worries, what if I lose all this weight and I turn ugly. Seriously, that does happen, you have to admit...some people just do not look good "thin." I also am nervous about just everything. Seriously, I have wanted to be "thin" my whole life, I just could never get that way. I do not know how it is going to feel to shop in a regular store. OMG...I might be able to get in mediums one day. No more Lane Bryant! Its just all these thoughts running through my head. I do not know how it is just to be able to walk into a store and buy something without first having to see if they have a "plus size" section. I am going to be free. I am going to look good in a nice summer dress. I won't have to worry about being "the fat one" where ever I go. Believe me, as much confidence as it might seem that I have...I always am thinking "i am the fat one."



  1. Congrats on your loss :)

    And I am sooooooooooo dying to shop none plau-size. I dress cute, and spend tons on Torrid & Old Navy but I am done! I want a pair of designer jeans.

    - J.

  2. I just read your blog and I am going through the same thing. I am making the decision to get bariatric surgery, I just dont know what else to do. Even if I work hard to lose weight on my own (which I have for YEARS) I will never be a size 6 and I will always struggle with weight gain. It is almost impossible to diet forever. Yes, you have to change your eating habits but how hard is it to maintain. I've lost weight so many times only to eat "one little piece of junk food" and boom, youre back to eating the way you used to.

    I wish I had the metablosim to be skinny. I've always been confident, I am beautiful even though I am fat. It just sucks so bad to not be able to go shopping with your regular sized friends. I hate going IN to those stores, I know everyone knows I cannot buy anything there. It sucks and I want to experience being REGULAR once in my life. I want to wear pretty clothes, not just what fits me.

    I love myself but I would love to be slim.

    good luck on your journey, when is your surgery date?

  3. I do not have a surgery date as of yet, but if you ever need to talk someone feel free to email me

    I know how hard it is to fight with weight, it gets depressing. I have learned to live with it and be strong. Do you have a surgery date? I am an open book, please feel free to email me about anything! Im here! :)