Thursday, September 23, 2010

I am not going to be "the fat one" anymore!

It feels so good to finally have a date for my surgery. It is finally starting to sink in today that I really am going to do this, and I have a month until my life literally changes forever. I am excited, but overwhelmed with everything. It finally feels like I am doing this for me. Of course I am nervous, I don't think it would be right not to be nervous but I am really getting excited. I know this is going to be hard, but it is going to do me so good.

The one thing that I learned throughout this process is who is really there for me. My friends and family have really shown me that they are soo supportive through this time. Of course there are those few that I have only heard "this surgery is bad for you" and things like that. Do I care about their opinions? No? Why you might ask? Because being fat is bad for you. I feel so good about my decision. Seriously if I didn't do this 6 month process I would of not known that I had sleep apnea. I would also be on high blood pressure meds, and I also would be at risk for heart attacks young and everything else that comes with being morbidly obese. Why is it when I use that word, even though I have come to terms with it, I still get chills? Anyone else do that when they say they are morbidly obese? It just sounds so...soo....bad. lol. Nothing wrong with it though. I love myself fat or skinny. Like I have said in other posts, I am scared I am going to be ugly when I lose weight, because I love what I look like now. I might be fat, but I am hot, if I do say so myself! haha. Love. Remember, if you don't love yourself no one can truely love you!

Time to get this boy to go down for a nap. 39 days and counting til I start my new life and not being "that fat girl" anymore! :)


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