Tomorrow.

Tomorrow is my big day and I am kind of numb. I thought I would be excited but I am scared that I am making the wrong decision. This is not something that I can just go back on. I am not even nervous...I really have no feeling. Is this normal? I have that fear that I am not going to wake up and my son is only going to remember me for being selfish doing this elective surgery and not being able to be there for him. Are these normal feelings?

I am first tomorrow...in 8 hours I will be at the hospital. Xavier is spending the night across the street at my mother in laws that way we do not have to wake him up and take him over there in the morning since it is going to be so early when we leave. I don't want to have to say good bye to him tonight.I know I am going to cry. He doesn't understand, but I feel like I am leaving him for selfish reasons, even thought I am really doing this surgery so I can keep up with him and be around a lot longer, rather then being obese and not being able to keep up.


Okay, well...wish me luck! I am going to take before pix tonight...I will post them once I get home either on Wednesday when I get home from the hospital or later this week once I get settled. Don't worry I will not leave anything out about how I am feeling and the surgery.

Well, once I get home I will be on the "losers bench"!!